I went to bed very late last night, and woke very early this morning.
I had to take a pain pill.
I've got a cold from someone, somewhere. The chemotherapy suppresses your immune system, and you catch everything that comes down the road.
I felt terrible all day yesterday, so I didn't go anywhere. I stayed home and spent most of the day upstairs in the day room, altering clothes. I've lost so much weight that very little fits me. and I took the time to clean out some shirts and blouses to alter them.
I couldn't remember how to thread my sewing machine.
I'm getting rid of some of my clothing. I'm not too sure I'll need them, and others can use them, so I'm just giving them away, rather than altering them.
I feel badly, so I'm going back to bed, and I'll write more later.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Thursday AM early
I haven't been to sleep all night. I got my chemo pump out yesterday, and I've had the muscle cramps and the diherea from hell that usually comes after the tretment is over. The pump is bad enough, but the follow-up torture is terrible.
The weather being hot and very humid does not help any, either. It just makes me ill and moody.
I had what looked like a family reunion yesterday at Creekside.
We got back from Morristown (Janie, Cherokee, Steven, and I), and Tom was there working. Soon, Jack, the main squeeze of my friend Patty, pulled into the driveway for a quick chat. While he was still there, Adrianne Cameron drove up and stopped to inquire after my health, and to offer his and Jean's (his sister) help. While he was still there, Clarence Singleton came up on his bicycle. Then Shannon drove up. She had come to bring my wig she bought for me and had styled. That's her contribution for trying to get me better. It's perfect. I know she paid a lot of money for it, but she wouldn't say how much.
Then, Joan came by after getting off work at the Family Dollar. She didn't stay long, but she was one more in the crowd. After that, Reneae came by to pick up Tom. The house was bulging with visitors. It got a little loud and confusing.
I'm quite the celebrity, it seems.
Tom got quite a bit of work done on the wood work, and I'm glad to see something getting towards finished. He's sure a good worker.
I was so tired last night, but I couldn't sleep, so I worked on some special projects as gifts for some special friends.
I could work on crafts all night.
I guess I need to get some sleep, but I don't know if I'll be able to sleep much.
The weather being hot and very humid does not help any, either. It just makes me ill and moody.
I had what looked like a family reunion yesterday at Creekside.
We got back from Morristown (Janie, Cherokee, Steven, and I), and Tom was there working. Soon, Jack, the main squeeze of my friend Patty, pulled into the driveway for a quick chat. While he was still there, Adrianne Cameron drove up and stopped to inquire after my health, and to offer his and Jean's (his sister) help. While he was still there, Clarence Singleton came up on his bicycle. Then Shannon drove up. She had come to bring my wig she bought for me and had styled. That's her contribution for trying to get me better. It's perfect. I know she paid a lot of money for it, but she wouldn't say how much.
Then, Joan came by after getting off work at the Family Dollar. She didn't stay long, but she was one more in the crowd. After that, Reneae came by to pick up Tom. The house was bulging with visitors. It got a little loud and confusing.
I'm quite the celebrity, it seems.
Tom got quite a bit of work done on the wood work, and I'm glad to see something getting towards finished. He's sure a good worker.
I was so tired last night, but I couldn't sleep, so I worked on some special projects as gifts for some special friends.
I could work on crafts all night.
I guess I need to get some sleep, but I don't know if I'll be able to sleep much.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Tuesday AM, very early
I had Chemo yesterday. It takes all day. I have to be there at 8:30 for blood work, then I'm free for about an hour until the doctor sees me, and decides if I'm going to have chemo that day. Last monday I didn't, but today (rah) I did. It seems to me that if you're already infected with a deadly disease, they wouldn't be so careful about pumping poison into your veins.
Our doctor at Morristown is very careful. I like that, as my life isw in her hands.
All the staff there are super nice.
After blood was drawn, Janie and I were free for about an hour, so we went to the hospital dining room for breakfast,and it was really good, with serveral choices. It breaks the tedius of waiting.
We got back to the cancer unit, and they were 'just' waiting for us.
They soon wanted us to order some lunch, but we put them off.
I am stinging all over like I've angered a huge nest of yellowjackets.
It's some of the side effects.
The part of the treatments that I hate the most is the side effect of the diaherea and then the constipation. The muscle side effects are painful enough to make a preacher cuss.
But, Ive'got to get victort over then, and Live On
I'm too tired to wrightmuch. I haven't been to bed yet.
I'm very 'antsy' tonigh.
I ned to settle.
Our doctor at Morristown is very careful. I like that, as my life isw in her hands.
All the staff there are super nice.
After blood was drawn, Janie and I were free for about an hour, so we went to the hospital dining room for breakfast,and it was really good, with serveral choices. It breaks the tedius of waiting.
We got back to the cancer unit, and they were 'just' waiting for us.
They soon wanted us to order some lunch, but we put them off.
I am stinging all over like I've angered a huge nest of yellowjackets.
It's some of the side effects.
The part of the treatments that I hate the most is the side effect of the diaherea and then the constipation. The muscle side effects are painful enough to make a preacher cuss.
But, Ive'got to get victort over then, and Live On
I'm too tired to wrightmuch. I haven't been to bed yet.
I'm very 'antsy' tonigh.
I ned to settle.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
July 8, 2012
My vision is very blurry most mornings, so I might make some typos that I don't catch.
I missed a Golden opertunity yesterday. Sister Billie Valentine came through our area, and called to come for a short visit. We were up at Creekside, and she called our home phone. She did leave a nice message, though.
I'd love to see her in person again.
Sister Jean Katherine Welch, who is Steve's aunt and a Sister of Saint Joseph of Rochester of New York, called yesterday. She talks fast and gets off the phone quickly, because she lives on $75.00 a month, and doesn't have much extra for long distance phone calls. I told Steve that we should send her some money to help her, as she has been so caring and attentive during this time of trouble for me. The Sisters hold many prayers for me, and I so appreciate it. They are loving and caring people who have given their whole lives to God and His service.
I called Lynn, but she didn't answer, so I left her a short message.
She took so much good care of me when she was here, and I hope that she didn't tire herself out so badly that she's had to take to her bed. She's not well, herself, and I don't want to be too much work for her. I know that she worries some about me, and worry is hard on Fibromyalgia patients.
She and Jim are so busy with their work, their church leadership, and her many crafts and hobbies that make her some small amount of money to help financially.
We sent her home with her van full of 'treasures', and Jim got busy right away and added her customized bird houses to her huge retaining wall in her backyard. It's almost like wall paper out there, and looks so cheery. She says it cheers her to glance out the window and see all those houses, many of which are gifts to her from me. She's such a loving lady, and I so enjoy giving back to her.
Janie's other daughter (the one I refer to as 'The Religious One', or 'The Pretty One') came for a day-long visit, with her husband and daughter. She is, without doubt, one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She has an inner glow about her that reaches out to people, and you can feel the love she has for you. She is called Sandy, but she certainly doesn't grate or grind as sand would.
I so enjoyed her and her little family, and Janie was so proud of her. I noticed tears in Janie's eyes as Sandy and I talked and I gave Sandy 'the fifty-cent tour' of Creekside. Sandy LOVED it.
John, Sandy's husband, was interested in my problems and the care I'm recieving. He's a handsome man, and so attentive to Sandy. I just LOVED the whole little family. They sure were driving a nice car. Janie has a nice, pleasant family.
They couldn't come to Clairemont, because a road crew were removing fallen trees from our road which had come down in a terrible wind storm.
It had stormed on Thursday night, with incredible wind, and many trees came down in this area. The people who are now living in the Collins house across 11W had a swimming pool to overturn and was carried by the wind down to the edge of 11W. It had water in it, as I saw children in it last week as Steve and I were going down Rutledge Pike.
The high wind took the bell tower and steeple off of Rutledge First Baptist Church. We drove up by it yesterday, and it is broken and laying in pieces all over the front lawn. They had some beautiful flower beds and a nice walkway there, so there's more damage than to the bell tower and steeple. I just wonder how much rain came in when the tower went off.
Water was in waves over the corner of our back porch, which is covered by a roof with 6-inch gutters. I don't know where all that water came from, but it was welcome. We are having the worst drought. Yards and fields are brown, and the chance of fire breaking out is a real danger. Just before the storm, Janie saw lightening strike Jean Jarnigan's front yard and set it ablaze. It might have been an electrical wire hitting it, as we noticed that a huge tree was down next to her house, taking some electrical wires with it. I hope she was safe.
We lost a good neighbor this week, Irene Marsh, who I called 'Mamaw'. I had seen her in the Goodwill just two weeks ago with her daughter, and she was quite feeble but chipper. She was 87, but had kept a large garden last summer. I made up a huge flower arrangement to take to Smith's, but with all the visitors and a trip to Lowe's (that was truely necessary), I didn't get to take the flowers to the funeral home. The funeral is this afternoon.
The trip to Lowe's was necessitated by our swimming pool getting a leak. Steve noticed it yesterday early in the day, and tried several home cures for it, with little or no success. He wanted to go to Lowe's to get a swimming pool patch, which was little more than a small piece of clear plastic with some water-proof (yeah, RIGHT) adhesive on it. You are supposed to prepare the patch, then go under the water, peel off the backing, and quickly place the patch over the leak. It's still leaking this morning.
I didn't quite grasp how the glue is supposed to work in a fluid that is referred to as 'the universal solvent', but Steve had hope that it would.
I'm afraid of what measures he will next take to solve the problem. He was talking yesterday about getting an in-ground pool, which would be a logistical nightmare. We live on a rock bluff, and it would take dynamite to blast the rock out for a hole into which to place an in-ground pool.
I suggested that we install our sun room package (which has been setting in the back yard for two years) along the back porch roof, and thus create a 24'X38' enclosed area where we could install a small indoor pool. It would be smaller, of course, but would eliminate the worry of leaves, blowing trash, and animals falling into the pool. Keeping the outdoor pool clean is a chore. Bugs have made a target of it during this dry weather, and it seems like we get into the pool, clean it, and get back out.
I have been heating our pool with a solar heater which I designed a couple of years ago, so it would be nice and warm to have a pool indoors. I feel so light in the water, and I've not got sore from all the activity in the water.
Tom is working out really well, getting the deck toward completion.
He is a nice man, and works out in this heat without stopping. I'm so glad we have him, and I hope he stays with us. There's so much he could do to help.
Joy, Janie's sister, was supposed to come for a visit this weekend, but didn't. I don't know why, but she told me last week that her car was 'acting up', so that may be why she's staying close to home.
Fred, Janie's brother, is supposed to get here this week, I think.
I get to venture into cancer hell tomorrow. It's my second chemo treatment. I have to sit in a recliner for eight hours while I'm there, getting all kinds of medications, vitamins and minerals to help boost my body, and then they install the pump. It weighs about 15 pounds, and they hang it around my neck. It clicks and ticks the whole time I'm wearing it, and it can't get wet or bumped, or it will leak or spill.
Then, if there's a repeat of the last treatment, I will go into the worst whole-body muscle spasms imaginable. My toes curl up like walnuts, my neck feels like I've got a boa constrictor wrapped around it, my back and sides feel like I've been run over with a heavy truck, and if I reach for something, it looks and feels like I'm grabbing onto it for dear life. The pain is so bad after awile that I think my teeth will sweat. Even my hair hurts. But, at least, I still HAVE hair.
I'm on a very heavy vitamin and mineral regimine to try to keep my hair, and, so far, something is working. I can just imagine how hot a wig would feel in this heat. It's been in the upper 90's all week, and it feels like a blast furnace when you open a door to go outside.
I've offered to make Penny Satterfield an awning to hang on the front of the Down Home, to try to keep some of the hot sun off the front of her building. She told me she's dreading her next utility bill. I want to do something to help others, especially now, when I need so much help.
I feel weak and tired all the time, and have to lay down in the daytime. I've never took naps, except the occasional Sunday afternoon nap, but I need rest now. My doctors told me I would feel poorly and tired, but nothing prepared me for this whole-body fatigue.
I used to keep my house immaculate, but now it's cluttered, and my carpets need to be cleaned. I just don't have the energy to deal with the dirt, and, after surgery, I'm not supposed to lift or strain my stomach muscles, so I can't push a vacuum cleaner. I like not having to do housework, but it pains me to see my house dirty. I so want to be well again, and be able to do what I've always done.
I haven't worked a whole day at Creekside sinse I had my first surgery. I feel that so little is getting done everywhere, and I'm the cause.
We got a copy of the hospital bill this week, and I told Steve that it would have been cheaper to build a sick-room onto the house and hire a nurse to take care of me at home.
I've been sitting around making hats for the other chemo patients who have lost their hair, and it makes me feel good to do something for others. They are fabulous headwear, and could not be affordable for a low-budget patient, and I want to give to others.
It's messy work, but fulfilling to me. It's one thing that I can do without feeling even more tired and short of breath.
I'm still really sore from my surgeries, and I've had to learn to carry a shoulder bag on my left shoulder, as my port is on my right shoulder. A seat belt crosses right over it and hurts, so I move it to my waist.
One of my peafowl hens is laying, and Steve wants her to set and hatch the eggs. I'd love to see her babies, as her mate is my Java Green male, and she is almond colored. Jave Green peafowl are really high-dollar birds, so it would be nice to get some babies.
The birds are moulting in this heat, so I'm collecting feathers.
Lynn wants some, and had some ready to go home with her when she was here, but forgot them in all the packing of the treasures we sent back with her. It was not enough to show our appreciation for all she did, but she had quite a bit, just not enough.
She's hoping to come back in a couple of weeks, and we'll send more home with her then.
I need to get off here and get to making hats and doing some light housework.
Oh, Barbara went to some horse race with Cooter and Darla Daniel. She didn't win.
I saw the Queen Mother at the Down Home on Saturday. She was pleased to have an unexpected, but short, visit with me. She's quite the Lady.
I missed a Golden opertunity yesterday. Sister Billie Valentine came through our area, and called to come for a short visit. We were up at Creekside, and she called our home phone. She did leave a nice message, though.
I'd love to see her in person again.
Sister Jean Katherine Welch, who is Steve's aunt and a Sister of Saint Joseph of Rochester of New York, called yesterday. She talks fast and gets off the phone quickly, because she lives on $75.00 a month, and doesn't have much extra for long distance phone calls. I told Steve that we should send her some money to help her, as she has been so caring and attentive during this time of trouble for me. The Sisters hold many prayers for me, and I so appreciate it. They are loving and caring people who have given their whole lives to God and His service.
I called Lynn, but she didn't answer, so I left her a short message.
She took so much good care of me when she was here, and I hope that she didn't tire herself out so badly that she's had to take to her bed. She's not well, herself, and I don't want to be too much work for her. I know that she worries some about me, and worry is hard on Fibromyalgia patients.
She and Jim are so busy with their work, their church leadership, and her many crafts and hobbies that make her some small amount of money to help financially.
We sent her home with her van full of 'treasures', and Jim got busy right away and added her customized bird houses to her huge retaining wall in her backyard. It's almost like wall paper out there, and looks so cheery. She says it cheers her to glance out the window and see all those houses, many of which are gifts to her from me. She's such a loving lady, and I so enjoy giving back to her.
Janie's other daughter (the one I refer to as 'The Religious One', or 'The Pretty One') came for a day-long visit, with her husband and daughter. She is, without doubt, one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She has an inner glow about her that reaches out to people, and you can feel the love she has for you. She is called Sandy, but she certainly doesn't grate or grind as sand would.
I so enjoyed her and her little family, and Janie was so proud of her. I noticed tears in Janie's eyes as Sandy and I talked and I gave Sandy 'the fifty-cent tour' of Creekside. Sandy LOVED it.
John, Sandy's husband, was interested in my problems and the care I'm recieving. He's a handsome man, and so attentive to Sandy. I just LOVED the whole little family. They sure were driving a nice car. Janie has a nice, pleasant family.
They couldn't come to Clairemont, because a road crew were removing fallen trees from our road which had come down in a terrible wind storm.
It had stormed on Thursday night, with incredible wind, and many trees came down in this area. The people who are now living in the Collins house across 11W had a swimming pool to overturn and was carried by the wind down to the edge of 11W. It had water in it, as I saw children in it last week as Steve and I were going down Rutledge Pike.
The high wind took the bell tower and steeple off of Rutledge First Baptist Church. We drove up by it yesterday, and it is broken and laying in pieces all over the front lawn. They had some beautiful flower beds and a nice walkway there, so there's more damage than to the bell tower and steeple. I just wonder how much rain came in when the tower went off.
Water was in waves over the corner of our back porch, which is covered by a roof with 6-inch gutters. I don't know where all that water came from, but it was welcome. We are having the worst drought. Yards and fields are brown, and the chance of fire breaking out is a real danger. Just before the storm, Janie saw lightening strike Jean Jarnigan's front yard and set it ablaze. It might have been an electrical wire hitting it, as we noticed that a huge tree was down next to her house, taking some electrical wires with it. I hope she was safe.
We lost a good neighbor this week, Irene Marsh, who I called 'Mamaw'. I had seen her in the Goodwill just two weeks ago with her daughter, and she was quite feeble but chipper. She was 87, but had kept a large garden last summer. I made up a huge flower arrangement to take to Smith's, but with all the visitors and a trip to Lowe's (that was truely necessary), I didn't get to take the flowers to the funeral home. The funeral is this afternoon.
The trip to Lowe's was necessitated by our swimming pool getting a leak. Steve noticed it yesterday early in the day, and tried several home cures for it, with little or no success. He wanted to go to Lowe's to get a swimming pool patch, which was little more than a small piece of clear plastic with some water-proof (yeah, RIGHT) adhesive on it. You are supposed to prepare the patch, then go under the water, peel off the backing, and quickly place the patch over the leak. It's still leaking this morning.
I didn't quite grasp how the glue is supposed to work in a fluid that is referred to as 'the universal solvent', but Steve had hope that it would.
I'm afraid of what measures he will next take to solve the problem. He was talking yesterday about getting an in-ground pool, which would be a logistical nightmare. We live on a rock bluff, and it would take dynamite to blast the rock out for a hole into which to place an in-ground pool.
I suggested that we install our sun room package (which has been setting in the back yard for two years) along the back porch roof, and thus create a 24'X38' enclosed area where we could install a small indoor pool. It would be smaller, of course, but would eliminate the worry of leaves, blowing trash, and animals falling into the pool. Keeping the outdoor pool clean is a chore. Bugs have made a target of it during this dry weather, and it seems like we get into the pool, clean it, and get back out.
I have been heating our pool with a solar heater which I designed a couple of years ago, so it would be nice and warm to have a pool indoors. I feel so light in the water, and I've not got sore from all the activity in the water.
Tom is working out really well, getting the deck toward completion.
He is a nice man, and works out in this heat without stopping. I'm so glad we have him, and I hope he stays with us. There's so much he could do to help.
Joy, Janie's sister, was supposed to come for a visit this weekend, but didn't. I don't know why, but she told me last week that her car was 'acting up', so that may be why she's staying close to home.
Fred, Janie's brother, is supposed to get here this week, I think.
I get to venture into cancer hell tomorrow. It's my second chemo treatment. I have to sit in a recliner for eight hours while I'm there, getting all kinds of medications, vitamins and minerals to help boost my body, and then they install the pump. It weighs about 15 pounds, and they hang it around my neck. It clicks and ticks the whole time I'm wearing it, and it can't get wet or bumped, or it will leak or spill.
Then, if there's a repeat of the last treatment, I will go into the worst whole-body muscle spasms imaginable. My toes curl up like walnuts, my neck feels like I've got a boa constrictor wrapped around it, my back and sides feel like I've been run over with a heavy truck, and if I reach for something, it looks and feels like I'm grabbing onto it for dear life. The pain is so bad after awile that I think my teeth will sweat. Even my hair hurts. But, at least, I still HAVE hair.
I'm on a very heavy vitamin and mineral regimine to try to keep my hair, and, so far, something is working. I can just imagine how hot a wig would feel in this heat. It's been in the upper 90's all week, and it feels like a blast furnace when you open a door to go outside.
I've offered to make Penny Satterfield an awning to hang on the front of the Down Home, to try to keep some of the hot sun off the front of her building. She told me she's dreading her next utility bill. I want to do something to help others, especially now, when I need so much help.
I feel weak and tired all the time, and have to lay down in the daytime. I've never took naps, except the occasional Sunday afternoon nap, but I need rest now. My doctors told me I would feel poorly and tired, but nothing prepared me for this whole-body fatigue.
I used to keep my house immaculate, but now it's cluttered, and my carpets need to be cleaned. I just don't have the energy to deal with the dirt, and, after surgery, I'm not supposed to lift or strain my stomach muscles, so I can't push a vacuum cleaner. I like not having to do housework, but it pains me to see my house dirty. I so want to be well again, and be able to do what I've always done.
I haven't worked a whole day at Creekside sinse I had my first surgery. I feel that so little is getting done everywhere, and I'm the cause.
We got a copy of the hospital bill this week, and I told Steve that it would have been cheaper to build a sick-room onto the house and hire a nurse to take care of me at home.
I've been sitting around making hats for the other chemo patients who have lost their hair, and it makes me feel good to do something for others. They are fabulous headwear, and could not be affordable for a low-budget patient, and I want to give to others.
It's messy work, but fulfilling to me. It's one thing that I can do without feeling even more tired and short of breath.
I'm still really sore from my surgeries, and I've had to learn to carry a shoulder bag on my left shoulder, as my port is on my right shoulder. A seat belt crosses right over it and hurts, so I move it to my waist.
One of my peafowl hens is laying, and Steve wants her to set and hatch the eggs. I'd love to see her babies, as her mate is my Java Green male, and she is almond colored. Jave Green peafowl are really high-dollar birds, so it would be nice to get some babies.
The birds are moulting in this heat, so I'm collecting feathers.
Lynn wants some, and had some ready to go home with her when she was here, but forgot them in all the packing of the treasures we sent back with her. It was not enough to show our appreciation for all she did, but she had quite a bit, just not enough.
She's hoping to come back in a couple of weeks, and we'll send more home with her then.
I need to get off here and get to making hats and doing some light housework.
Oh, Barbara went to some horse race with Cooter and Darla Daniel. She didn't win.
I saw the Queen Mother at the Down Home on Saturday. She was pleased to have an unexpected, but short, visit with me. She's quite the Lady.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012 AM
I was going to post last night, but there appeared to be something wrong with my 'mouse' on my computer. It had finally 'died', according to the computer expert, Steve.
He installed a new one for me, but I was so ready for rest that I gave up on the notion of posting last night and just went on to bed.
Stumpy slept the whold night with me, and I slept very lightly, so I would not crush the precious little thing in my sleep. She snuggled and cuddled with her mommy (whom she adores) until just a few minutes ago, and mom decided to call it a night and got up. I gave the girls a treat, which was a can of cat food. They usually get dry, because of the odor of the canned food, but everything tastes and smells differently to me now that I'm on Chemo, and I don't mind the smell so much.
They had advised me before the initiation of chemo that things would smell and taste differently. They sure do, and I can be sitting on the living room floor, working away on my hats for the chemo patients, and start smelling cooking foods, and tasting them, as well.
This morning, earlier, I was seeing 'the lights', which is like little sparks surrounding common objects. They look something like very tiny twinkling Christmas lights, except these have sharp little points for corners. They had the most interesting colors, too.
Chemo sure is a trip, but one I'd never advise anyone to take.
Cherokee came by for just a little 'drop in' visit yesterday afternoon, and to tell me that she loves me. I think perhaps someone had gotten on her nerves at home, and she needed a restful place to get to.
It was so nice to have her for a while. We ate some watermelon together, and she and I sat in the living room and had a lovely visit.
I had called Angie Slagle yesterday morning to see how she was doing. She confessed to me that she had been crying earlier, but that she just shed tears of joy while we were having our little visit. She told me that I had brightened her whole day. She is the lady who does stained glass in her private studio down in Joppa, and she had almost cut her left hand off a while back with some sliding glass. She's in a great deal of pain, and has to wear braces on her wrist until her hand heals. Two of her fingers on that hand still might not recover, and it has her somewhat depressed. She told me that I was the best anti-depressant that she had ever had.
It makes my day to cheer someone, especially someone that I love so, and admire.
She made the lovely stained glass window that is in the bay window in my music room. It is such an inspiration and joy to me. I'm glad I can give her something back.
It appears that Barbara's story about me in the Grainger Today has opened many doors for me to give others hope and inspiration. Mrs. Jean Jarnigan and Mrs. Mary Roberts huddled with me and we had a small 'tea party' in the meat section of the IGA night before last. Mrs. Jarnigan is one of the last of the famous (locally) Jarnigans, and she lives in the Jarnigan Mansion up on 11W next to the Jarnigan Ford dealership. That's a lovely old home, and she keeps it immaculately, though she's became somewhat feeble. I sometimes notice that her car is parked in front of the house on the grass, and I presume she has had trouble getting back to the house, or has too many groceries or something to carry inside.
Mary Roberts is a Senior Executive at the Grainger County Citizen's Bank, and she is still hardy and hale. They live down on Rutledge Pike between Clairemont and town. They have a beautiful home that sets just below the road, and it is always so well kept. She is locally famous for having the most beautiful Christmas Tree in her front window. It sparkles with a million lights. She told me a couple of years ago that her husband wants her to discontinue it, but it's such a favorite tradition that she wants to keep it up. It sure is beautiful.
We stood and talked in the meat department for quite a spell, and Mrs. Jarnigan asked me a bit about my illness. She said that she was hesitant at first, because she didn't know if I would want to discuss it. I figure that open discussion is something I can help with, and I don't mind a bit.
Lynn sent Steve a picture of a purple butterfly that I had painted for her while she was here. It is the symbol for Fibromyalgia, and she had it perched beside her computer screen. She's very adept at taking pictures with her phone. I'm so electronically challenged that I can't do anything like that.
I get all the nice cards and letters that I've recieved together and look through them often, and they bring me such comfort and happiness that so many people care enough about me to send me something. I've been truely blessed.
I don't have any doctor's appointments today, for anywhere. That seems strange. I do have to take some insurance papers to Doctor Duck's office from the insurance company. They say they can't reach him by phone to verify the need for some prescription, so I'm taking him the letter, so that he can contact them and let them know that I'm not some sort of dope fiend that wants to feed my habit.
They can be so cranky.
Margaret Southerland, at Smith's Drugs in Rutledge sure knows how to handle them. She has had to deal with them a lot of times before, and I'll bet by now they dread the sound of her voice. She don't take their 'bunk' about getting sick people their needed medications.
I had to give the house cats a dose of Ivomec last night, as Stumpy and Sweety both were crawling with fleas. It amazes me that cats who never go outside can get so many fleas. Sweety really got mad at me, and tried to scratch me, even though she very well knows better. I'm going to have to get her to Doctor Morgan and get her declawed and neutered. Doctor Morgan doesn't take any guff from pets.
Janie didn't work yesterday, She wanted to have a 'Lazy Day' at home, and I did, too. She did some of her own housework. Her daughter, Sandy, is coming Saturday, and she wants things nice for her. She wants to bring her to Clairemont and Creekside and let her know where her mother works. She's heard so much that I'd think she would already be pretty familiar with both places.
I re-worked my wig last night, and this time, I think I might have it just right. Steve said that it looks just like my hair. I haven't lost mine yet, but I'm trying to prep myself for the melt-down that will happen if I do. My hair has always been my trademark, and it would be such a loss to me if I lost it now.
Much of my hair came out last early spring, and I wouldn't leave the house for several days. I wore several 'helping hair' pieces, and finally got comfortable enough that I would go out in public, and I used several medicinal remedies to get my hair to come back. It has made a remarkable recovery, though too slowly for me, and I so hope I don't lose it to the scourge of chemo.
Lynn assured me when she was here that I would make a beautiful bald lady, but I think she was just being nice. I DON'T WANT TO BE BALD.
I just couldn't go the route of wearing baseball caps or those tragic turbens, so I've something else ready....my lovely (and quite expensive) wig. I wanted it to look like I wear my own hair, and getting the hairline to look realistic all the way around my head was a bit of a challenge.
My friend, Faune Gerber, told me that this might be a good time to try a new hair-do, but I'm stuck wanting to look like I have always. There are just too many other changes going on with my body right now, and I want what shreds of my former self that I still have to linger with me. I've aways liked my hair long and put up nicely, and I will continue to keep it as long as I can.
Shannon, my 'adopted' sister, is working on something for me to wear, and I'm getting pretty anxious to see what she has come up with. She's a WHIZ with hair, up OR down, and I'm eaglerly awaiting the visual treat she has for me. I think it's rather good of her to do so much for me. She's always been around, and always will be, I hope.
I went by the mobile home with Janie day before yesterday, and it looks like John and Annamae have not been living there. A neighbor told me that they had not been living there, so I'm taking possession of it again, and will have the locks changed, so that Janie and I (with whatever help we can get) can begin renovations there as time permits, and get it ready to rent to someone else.
I'd say John has 'skipped', oweing me quite a bit of work and money. He's told so many tales to so many people that no one seems to know where he is, where he might 'pop up', or what he's doing.
I can't have any more to do with him. He's broken the trust he had built with me. The lights are still on in the trailer, but I'd doubt that they will want to pay the bill, or that they ever will. They had disappeared with the air conditioning on. People can be so decietful.
There's much more to tell when there's more time, but I need to get off this computer and lay back down for a while. I'm always so tired from the chemo, and weak, also. It's not a happy experience.
Maybe Barbara could write another story about me, calling it 'The Chemo Chronicles'.
She would make it boring.
He installed a new one for me, but I was so ready for rest that I gave up on the notion of posting last night and just went on to bed.
Stumpy slept the whold night with me, and I slept very lightly, so I would not crush the precious little thing in my sleep. She snuggled and cuddled with her mommy (whom she adores) until just a few minutes ago, and mom decided to call it a night and got up. I gave the girls a treat, which was a can of cat food. They usually get dry, because of the odor of the canned food, but everything tastes and smells differently to me now that I'm on Chemo, and I don't mind the smell so much.
They had advised me before the initiation of chemo that things would smell and taste differently. They sure do, and I can be sitting on the living room floor, working away on my hats for the chemo patients, and start smelling cooking foods, and tasting them, as well.
This morning, earlier, I was seeing 'the lights', which is like little sparks surrounding common objects. They look something like very tiny twinkling Christmas lights, except these have sharp little points for corners. They had the most interesting colors, too.
Chemo sure is a trip, but one I'd never advise anyone to take.
Cherokee came by for just a little 'drop in' visit yesterday afternoon, and to tell me that she loves me. I think perhaps someone had gotten on her nerves at home, and she needed a restful place to get to.
It was so nice to have her for a while. We ate some watermelon together, and she and I sat in the living room and had a lovely visit.
I had called Angie Slagle yesterday morning to see how she was doing. She confessed to me that she had been crying earlier, but that she just shed tears of joy while we were having our little visit. She told me that I had brightened her whole day. She is the lady who does stained glass in her private studio down in Joppa, and she had almost cut her left hand off a while back with some sliding glass. She's in a great deal of pain, and has to wear braces on her wrist until her hand heals. Two of her fingers on that hand still might not recover, and it has her somewhat depressed. She told me that I was the best anti-depressant that she had ever had.
It makes my day to cheer someone, especially someone that I love so, and admire.
She made the lovely stained glass window that is in the bay window in my music room. It is such an inspiration and joy to me. I'm glad I can give her something back.
It appears that Barbara's story about me in the Grainger Today has opened many doors for me to give others hope and inspiration. Mrs. Jean Jarnigan and Mrs. Mary Roberts huddled with me and we had a small 'tea party' in the meat section of the IGA night before last. Mrs. Jarnigan is one of the last of the famous (locally) Jarnigans, and she lives in the Jarnigan Mansion up on 11W next to the Jarnigan Ford dealership. That's a lovely old home, and she keeps it immaculately, though she's became somewhat feeble. I sometimes notice that her car is parked in front of the house on the grass, and I presume she has had trouble getting back to the house, or has too many groceries or something to carry inside.
Mary Roberts is a Senior Executive at the Grainger County Citizen's Bank, and she is still hardy and hale. They live down on Rutledge Pike between Clairemont and town. They have a beautiful home that sets just below the road, and it is always so well kept. She is locally famous for having the most beautiful Christmas Tree in her front window. It sparkles with a million lights. She told me a couple of years ago that her husband wants her to discontinue it, but it's such a favorite tradition that she wants to keep it up. It sure is beautiful.
We stood and talked in the meat department for quite a spell, and Mrs. Jarnigan asked me a bit about my illness. She said that she was hesitant at first, because she didn't know if I would want to discuss it. I figure that open discussion is something I can help with, and I don't mind a bit.
Lynn sent Steve a picture of a purple butterfly that I had painted for her while she was here. It is the symbol for Fibromyalgia, and she had it perched beside her computer screen. She's very adept at taking pictures with her phone. I'm so electronically challenged that I can't do anything like that.
I get all the nice cards and letters that I've recieved together and look through them often, and they bring me such comfort and happiness that so many people care enough about me to send me something. I've been truely blessed.
I don't have any doctor's appointments today, for anywhere. That seems strange. I do have to take some insurance papers to Doctor Duck's office from the insurance company. They say they can't reach him by phone to verify the need for some prescription, so I'm taking him the letter, so that he can contact them and let them know that I'm not some sort of dope fiend that wants to feed my habit.
They can be so cranky.
Margaret Southerland, at Smith's Drugs in Rutledge sure knows how to handle them. She has had to deal with them a lot of times before, and I'll bet by now they dread the sound of her voice. She don't take their 'bunk' about getting sick people their needed medications.
I had to give the house cats a dose of Ivomec last night, as Stumpy and Sweety both were crawling with fleas. It amazes me that cats who never go outside can get so many fleas. Sweety really got mad at me, and tried to scratch me, even though she very well knows better. I'm going to have to get her to Doctor Morgan and get her declawed and neutered. Doctor Morgan doesn't take any guff from pets.
Janie didn't work yesterday, She wanted to have a 'Lazy Day' at home, and I did, too. She did some of her own housework. Her daughter, Sandy, is coming Saturday, and she wants things nice for her. She wants to bring her to Clairemont and Creekside and let her know where her mother works. She's heard so much that I'd think she would already be pretty familiar with both places.
I re-worked my wig last night, and this time, I think I might have it just right. Steve said that it looks just like my hair. I haven't lost mine yet, but I'm trying to prep myself for the melt-down that will happen if I do. My hair has always been my trademark, and it would be such a loss to me if I lost it now.
Much of my hair came out last early spring, and I wouldn't leave the house for several days. I wore several 'helping hair' pieces, and finally got comfortable enough that I would go out in public, and I used several medicinal remedies to get my hair to come back. It has made a remarkable recovery, though too slowly for me, and I so hope I don't lose it to the scourge of chemo.
Lynn assured me when she was here that I would make a beautiful bald lady, but I think she was just being nice. I DON'T WANT TO BE BALD.
I just couldn't go the route of wearing baseball caps or those tragic turbens, so I've something else ready....my lovely (and quite expensive) wig. I wanted it to look like I wear my own hair, and getting the hairline to look realistic all the way around my head was a bit of a challenge.
My friend, Faune Gerber, told me that this might be a good time to try a new hair-do, but I'm stuck wanting to look like I have always. There are just too many other changes going on with my body right now, and I want what shreds of my former self that I still have to linger with me. I've aways liked my hair long and put up nicely, and I will continue to keep it as long as I can.
Shannon, my 'adopted' sister, is working on something for me to wear, and I'm getting pretty anxious to see what she has come up with. She's a WHIZ with hair, up OR down, and I'm eaglerly awaiting the visual treat she has for me. I think it's rather good of her to do so much for me. She's always been around, and always will be, I hope.
I went by the mobile home with Janie day before yesterday, and it looks like John and Annamae have not been living there. A neighbor told me that they had not been living there, so I'm taking possession of it again, and will have the locks changed, so that Janie and I (with whatever help we can get) can begin renovations there as time permits, and get it ready to rent to someone else.
I'd say John has 'skipped', oweing me quite a bit of work and money. He's told so many tales to so many people that no one seems to know where he is, where he might 'pop up', or what he's doing.
I can't have any more to do with him. He's broken the trust he had built with me. The lights are still on in the trailer, but I'd doubt that they will want to pay the bill, or that they ever will. They had disappeared with the air conditioning on. People can be so decietful.
There's much more to tell when there's more time, but I need to get off this computer and lay back down for a while. I'm always so tired from the chemo, and weak, also. It's not a happy experience.
Maybe Barbara could write another story about me, calling it 'The Chemo Chronicles'.
She would make it boring.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
July 3, 2012 AM
Cherokee asked me if I'd given up on posting. I haven't, but, after seeing all the typos in my last post, it looks like I should.
I have a vague hope that, after I'm gone, someone might stumble onto my blog and see something which inspires them to keep going.
It's terribly hot here, with almost no relief from the heat when we have the occasional evening storm. We see lightening, but it just makes me worry about it coming to ground and starting a woods fire.
The grass crackles when you walk on it, and the ground is cracked.
I miss Lynn now that she's gone back home. She came to help, and she certainly did.
I think she might be well-wuited for an Elder's position in her church. They are to be helpers and spiritual advisors, and she can handle those jobs very well.
They don't believe like I do, but you don't have to be in agreement with someone to be able to help them.
Cherokee paid me $25.00 towards her loan for some tires from several weeks ago. They were good tires at a good price, and she had been told that the tires on her van were dry-rotted. She didn't have the cash right then, so I bought them. She absolutely INSISTED that she re-pay me, and yesterday evening she literally struggled with me to give me the payment. She's about as hard-headed as they come. But Barbara's still the fattest friend I have.
Last night at The Down Home, Steve and I saw the lady friend of Jamie's who works at Smith's Funeral Home. I can never recall her name, but she's really nice. She had to remind me of where she works and lives, and even who she was. I was so embarrassed. It seems like I'm so distracted with all these doctors and medical treatments that I forget everything.
Steve said last night that he's going to get a large wall calendar to put dates on so that I will remember where to go, who to see, and at what time. If he don't, I might be looking up at that nice lady from Smith's. I just can't seem to handle all this trouble, and I think it's partly because I'm in some sort of disconnect to try to keep sane (that's a concept some might argue). I seem to be boating down that river in Northern Africa, Denial. (Think about it) (Say the word out loud)
Chris Mannes came into the Goodwill the other day and we had a short but sweet visit. She's such a faithful friend, and so good to so many.
Many people have come to me to talk with me about my 'Hat Lady Project' for the chemotherapy patients. Lynn talked with some lady at her home church in North Carolina who is a survivor, and she wants some of my hats to give to their cancer center there. I'll do anything I can to help others get through this. I hope Lynn comes to collect them in person, and that she will allow a few days for a sweet visit. She has come to mean so much to me. If you read this, Lynn, and you will, this is a HINT.
I sat in the livingroom floor last night and made up some 'twirly balls' to put on hats. I take florist's wire, cut it down to about 8-10 inches in length, and glue beads onto them. Then I attach them to hats that correspond in color. They are so pretty (to me) and they're absorbing to make.
Making all these hats keeps me from worry lots of times. Stumpy comes and sits in my lap while I work. She naps. Lynn made a picture of her taking a nap in my lap with a little hat on while she was here. If she could post it on this blog, I'd be happy so see it.
I so love that little kitten.
I have to go to Morristown to get blood work done today. I guess it really was a good idea to install my port. It cost as much as the bowel surgery did. I think I go to see Dudrick on Thursday. He's nice.
Steve had his colonoscopy yesterday morning, which might account for his bad mood last night. The same doctor who did mine did his. They found and removed two polyps, which are thought to be non-cancerous at this time. They will have to await results from the lab before we know for sure.
I guess my cancer was so obvious that they jumped the gun and gave me my diagnosis at the time of surgery.
Doctor Narayony remembered me, and told me that I was the most fun patient he had ever done a colonoscopy for. I hope everyone likes my wacky sense of humor.
When Cherokee was in the hospital, Janie, Lynn, and I went to see her, and, when they came to take her to the surgical area, she said that they left her laying on the gurney while they told everyone about me and my crazy, funny 'floor show' in her room.
I was trying to ease some of her anxiety, and it must have worked. I really love that crazy, silly, funny, sweet lady, and I hope she knows it. I was telling them at The Down Home last night about her wonderful key lime pies. She should make them and sell them. She could make some serious money. They are so good, they'd make Christian women fight.
Steve is still sleeping, and I so want to get to working on some hats.
He's tired from all the etra work I'm causing and having to put on him. I'll let him rest.
He was on my side of the bed this morning, so I must have had one of the nights when I thrashed and kicked until he just had to get up and exchange sides of the bed with me.
Faune Gerber keeps me so cheered with her little coments on my blog.
She prays for me faithfully, and I need prayer. I'm sure Betty Pike prays for me, also, and the Sisters of Rochester (New York) have many prayer vigils for me. Sister Jean Katheryn Welch was so proud (she has confessed that sin, I'm sure) of my article in the paper, and she took it to other convents to show the other Sisters who know me personally. They are such faithful women of God.
I want to do something special for Barbara to show her that I'm grateful for all her help in this time of sickness and sadness. Maybe I should get her a membership at Jenny Craig.
I have a vague hope that, after I'm gone, someone might stumble onto my blog and see something which inspires them to keep going.
It's terribly hot here, with almost no relief from the heat when we have the occasional evening storm. We see lightening, but it just makes me worry about it coming to ground and starting a woods fire.
The grass crackles when you walk on it, and the ground is cracked.
I miss Lynn now that she's gone back home. She came to help, and she certainly did.
I think she might be well-wuited for an Elder's position in her church. They are to be helpers and spiritual advisors, and she can handle those jobs very well.
They don't believe like I do, but you don't have to be in agreement with someone to be able to help them.
Cherokee paid me $25.00 towards her loan for some tires from several weeks ago. They were good tires at a good price, and she had been told that the tires on her van were dry-rotted. She didn't have the cash right then, so I bought them. She absolutely INSISTED that she re-pay me, and yesterday evening she literally struggled with me to give me the payment. She's about as hard-headed as they come. But Barbara's still the fattest friend I have.
Last night at The Down Home, Steve and I saw the lady friend of Jamie's who works at Smith's Funeral Home. I can never recall her name, but she's really nice. She had to remind me of where she works and lives, and even who she was. I was so embarrassed. It seems like I'm so distracted with all these doctors and medical treatments that I forget everything.
Steve said last night that he's going to get a large wall calendar to put dates on so that I will remember where to go, who to see, and at what time. If he don't, I might be looking up at that nice lady from Smith's. I just can't seem to handle all this trouble, and I think it's partly because I'm in some sort of disconnect to try to keep sane (that's a concept some might argue). I seem to be boating down that river in Northern Africa, Denial. (Think about it) (Say the word out loud)
Chris Mannes came into the Goodwill the other day and we had a short but sweet visit. She's such a faithful friend, and so good to so many.
Many people have come to me to talk with me about my 'Hat Lady Project' for the chemotherapy patients. Lynn talked with some lady at her home church in North Carolina who is a survivor, and she wants some of my hats to give to their cancer center there. I'll do anything I can to help others get through this. I hope Lynn comes to collect them in person, and that she will allow a few days for a sweet visit. She has come to mean so much to me. If you read this, Lynn, and you will, this is a HINT.
I sat in the livingroom floor last night and made up some 'twirly balls' to put on hats. I take florist's wire, cut it down to about 8-10 inches in length, and glue beads onto them. Then I attach them to hats that correspond in color. They are so pretty (to me) and they're absorbing to make.
Making all these hats keeps me from worry lots of times. Stumpy comes and sits in my lap while I work. She naps. Lynn made a picture of her taking a nap in my lap with a little hat on while she was here. If she could post it on this blog, I'd be happy so see it.
I so love that little kitten.
I have to go to Morristown to get blood work done today. I guess it really was a good idea to install my port. It cost as much as the bowel surgery did. I think I go to see Dudrick on Thursday. He's nice.
Steve had his colonoscopy yesterday morning, which might account for his bad mood last night. The same doctor who did mine did his. They found and removed two polyps, which are thought to be non-cancerous at this time. They will have to await results from the lab before we know for sure.
I guess my cancer was so obvious that they jumped the gun and gave me my diagnosis at the time of surgery.
Doctor Narayony remembered me, and told me that I was the most fun patient he had ever done a colonoscopy for. I hope everyone likes my wacky sense of humor.
When Cherokee was in the hospital, Janie, Lynn, and I went to see her, and, when they came to take her to the surgical area, she said that they left her laying on the gurney while they told everyone about me and my crazy, funny 'floor show' in her room.
I was trying to ease some of her anxiety, and it must have worked. I really love that crazy, silly, funny, sweet lady, and I hope she knows it. I was telling them at The Down Home last night about her wonderful key lime pies. She should make them and sell them. She could make some serious money. They are so good, they'd make Christian women fight.
Steve is still sleeping, and I so want to get to working on some hats.
He's tired from all the etra work I'm causing and having to put on him. I'll let him rest.
He was on my side of the bed this morning, so I must have had one of the nights when I thrashed and kicked until he just had to get up and exchange sides of the bed with me.
Faune Gerber keeps me so cheered with her little coments on my blog.
She prays for me faithfully, and I need prayer. I'm sure Betty Pike prays for me, also, and the Sisters of Rochester (New York) have many prayer vigils for me. Sister Jean Katheryn Welch was so proud (she has confessed that sin, I'm sure) of my article in the paper, and she took it to other convents to show the other Sisters who know me personally. They are such faithful women of God.
I want to do something special for Barbara to show her that I'm grateful for all her help in this time of sickness and sadness. Maybe I should get her a membership at Jenny Craig.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012 AM
Steve has his colonoscopy this morning, and I'm more concerned about his than I was about mine.
I don't want any more sickness in our home.
I don't know if I've mentioned that Lori Daniel is following my blog now, but I hope, if she sees this, that she will continue to pray for me, and that she will include Steve in her many prayers.
She and her daughter, Reylie (sp?) are so good to me, and I always want the love of that precious little girl.
One of our baby geese died. I don't know why, but the other geese deserted it for several days before it died.
We are having to run a pump from the creek to water the field where the geese live. It's been really dry. Steve told me that it stormed during the night. I was either 'floating' on Ambien or was sleeping through it.
We need rain, in any form.
There's lots more, but I'
ll have to write it when we get home from the hospital this afternoon.
I'd better mention Barbara. So there, Barbara, there's your mention.
I don't want any more sickness in our home.
I don't know if I've mentioned that Lori Daniel is following my blog now, but I hope, if she sees this, that she will continue to pray for me, and that she will include Steve in her many prayers.
She and her daughter, Reylie (sp?) are so good to me, and I always want the love of that precious little girl.
One of our baby geese died. I don't know why, but the other geese deserted it for several days before it died.
We are having to run a pump from the creek to water the field where the geese live. It's been really dry. Steve told me that it stormed during the night. I was either 'floating' on Ambien or was sleeping through it.
We need rain, in any form.
There's lots more, but I'
ll have to write it when we get home from the hospital this afternoon.
I'd better mention Barbara. So there, Barbara, there's your mention.
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