Tuesday, June 5, 2012

So many people have asked me to blog again to keep everyone updated.
I'm still in quite a bit of pain, but I suppose that's to be expected.  I hate having to sit or lay around like I'm lazy, but Steve and Janie keep after me all the time to take it easy and not strain myself.  They are both attentive and so helpful, I'm always reminding them that I'm not an invalid yet.
I'm still supposed to not lift 10#'s yet, and that even includes still drawers and car doors.  It would be nice to have everything done for me if I didn't know that they all feel sorry for me. 
Steve has pampered me so much that my muscles are going to shrink from misuse.
He has done laundry, cl;eaned floors, cooked meals, cleaned the kitchen, changed the bed, and done much more so that I could sit around and watch him work or play in my hobbies, which make terrible messes.
I've seen a mission for myself.  I'm making beautiful hats for little girls and young women to contribute through the American Cancer Society.  Heather Watson, who is Dr. Foutch's receptionist, collects hats and caps for the Chemo patients, and I'm going to load her up with some really glamourous ones.  It's a messy job, but I just carry some hats, feathers, and silk slowers downstairs and pile them all in the living room floor and begin the creative process.  Steve says I look like some sort of mad scientist, digging through all my stuff and coming up with something that looks the way I like.
I just feel like that you sont have to be ugly because you're sick.  I figure that these little girls and younger women would still want to look pretty, and so I'm making them nice hats to cover their sweet little heads.
Steve told me I shouls contact Barbara and get her to write an article about my efforts so that others could contribute silk flowers or old hats to my project.  I've taken some of themost bedraggled old hats, cleaned them, and I'm making them a whole new life as a rescue chapeau.
It's not strenuous, and it makes me feel like I'm giving something back to the fellow sufferers.
I just hope Heather likes my sontributions.  Doc's office staff have been so good to call and keep in touch with my progress.  All of them are such good, praying people with a real compassion for our community, and I'm so thankful that they are my friends and care providers.
Doc assured me as soon as he found out about my cancer that they would all do anything they could to help me, and their support has been outstanding.
Joan Stalsworth, the manager of the Family Dollar, and my good girl friend, called me from the beach yesterday.  She is such a good friend, and she needed a vacation for a while, but she's not forgotten me.  She said that she sat in a rocker the whole first day she was there.  The store works her to death.
Stumpy, out little manx kitten, has learned to walk all over the house, and follows the sound of my voice and my steps.  She's still so tiny.  We're both afraid we'll step on her.  She had that strange eye infection that kittens seem to get so easily, but I'm treating her with penicillen, and she's getting better fast.  She's so affectionate, and she's going to be a 'momma's girl'.  Sweety fights her a little, but has learned that mom will get involved with her long, hard yardstick if she makes Stumpy cry.
I stayed at Creekside all day yesterday.  Steve worked in his office upstairs, and I did little easy jobs like sorting and putting things away.  I laid down for about an hour in the afternoon.  Janie has brought a roll-away bed in for me and installed it in the library, and it's nice to have somewhere to rest for a while.  The days seem so long when you're not able to be active.
Steve had a man-to-man talk with John last evening about his salary and his obligations to us.  He owes us quite a bit from his habits of collecting his pay befor payday and then wanting more at payday.  He hadn't worked any time sinse I have been in the hospital or back home, but he still wants money.
His house rent is due tomorrow, and Steve told me he knew that it wouldn't be ready, so he forgave him the rent for this month, but told him that it was time for him to become a man and be good to those who were helping him (meaning me)  He told him that, for whatever reason, I liked him, and that he's better encourage me in my affection for him, because no one else on the job site like him much.  He also told him that is he took too much advantage of me. HE (Steve) would get into the mix, and John would like that much.
I still have to pay the lot rent on the trailer, which means we're partially supporting John a place to live.  He should be more grateful of kindnesses.
Joy, Janie's sister from North Carolina, came for a few days visit yesterday.  She's such a nice lady, but has had a hard life, and she shows it.  She looks like she's several years older that Janie, but Janie is 5 years older than Joy.  Joy smokes pretty heavily, and that ages a person.
All of Janie's family are so good to me.  You'd think I was born into their clan.
Judy is going to try to come by on her way home from Morristown on Friday morning.  She will have been working a shift on their med-flight copter there, and Rutledge is almost on her way home.
I'm so proud of her.  She's one of the most caring and loving people I've ever known, and one of the best nurses I've ever know, too.
She is an inspiration to me, and makes me want to be a better person, just to make her love me more.
I hear more from her than I do her mother.
Cecil is so busy with her own care and a part-time job.  She shouldn't be having to work just to pay her bills.  She and her fine husband, 'L', worked all their lives and paid into Social Security, and now that she's widowed, older, and sick, she still has to work to have the bare necessities.
My good friend, Betty Pike, is in the same predicament.  She's had to open a dog sitting service in her home to make ends meet.  She's given her whole life to service for others, and there's little help for her now.  Some of the friends in their meeting are helpful, but society soon forgets those who have served them.  She was always a good neighbor when we lived close enough, and a wonder example of Christian womanhood.  I'd say some of the public stays away because she's put them to shame, as they're living sinful lives.  It's hard for calous sinners to be comfortable around Godly people.
Ruth, her mother, is deaf now, but is still in the battle for the Lord.  It gives me good cheer to know such people.
Sister Valentine (while we're discussing good people) is building a new screen porch on the back of her house.  They had built a huge deck on the rear of their house when they built, and, several years ago, it had become wobbly and insecure.  I took some tools and supplies and went over there and she and I crawled around there and shored things up quite a bit.  She's told me several times that it would have fallen by now if we had not done those repairs.  She's finally having it removed and a smaller deck put at one back door and a small screen porch put at the other.  She had always wanted a covered porch on the rear of her home, and the view from out there is just splendid.  I'm glad that she's getting what she's always wanted.  There's no more deserving person.
Dennis Farris, one of Steve's men, called this morning and wished me well.  He's a nice man, and had lived in Texas until a recent split with his wife, and then he moved to Cleveland.  He stil goes home occasionally, but he told Steve that it's just a long process of splitting with his wife.
I don't believe that people take their marriage vows seriously anymore.  I would be appalled at the very thought of a marriage break-up, but it's more and more common.  It seems like nowadays, live-ins are the common way of life.
Not for me!
My Jave Green peacock has killed all the other males, even though Steve put one in another cage.  They fought through the wire until they tore it open and got to each other.  He has a glorious tail spread, and he had always been rather shy and calm until this mating season.  He's the head bird now.
He's quite valuable, and I just love his looks, but I wish he'd not killed the other males, as they were also beautiful.
I want to get up to Creekside and finish a few small jobs that don't require heavy lifting or much effort.  I also want to keep an eye on John, as he doesn't want to take orders from Janie.
I am so slow, and I get tired easily, and I would just love to forget about Creekside for a short while, but it calls to me.  I love that old house, and I love the people who stop in to visit.  It's becomming my 'identity' house, though I more identify with Clairemont.  People don't come up here, though, and it's so easy to stop in there.
Janie still has no air conditioning in her house.  She's called Randy Newberry, who is a local heating and air man, and also a minister, and he's given her a time when he can get to her problem.  He's fair in his prices, and I have an affection for him.  His wife, Brenda, is also a minister, and I prefer to do business with Christians.
I need to wind this up and get to work.
I've mentioned Barbara, so I guess I can close this without drawing her wrath.

Thursday, May 31, 2012 PM

It's getting late, but I feel the need to communicate my feelings.
Depression is becomming problematic.  I never thought I'd wind up in this kind of condition.  I ache all over, my patience is very low, I'm physically exhasted, and my moods are becomming erratic.
I so wish I were well and strong again, but I'm not, and I have a sinking feeling that I never will be well again.  So many people have told me that I'm strong and determined, and that I will overcome this.  I'd like to see them feel this way and be so optimistic.
It looks like one problem solved leads to another problem.  I've given up on trying to keep up with all the doctor's appointments and the schedule of treatments and trips.
I didn't like being in the hospital, but all I had to worry about there was keeping my stuffed kitty in the bed with me.  I'm not a whiner, so I only called for a nurse about 15 times in the week I was there.  When I was doing clinical nursing, I hated to be called to a patient's room to humor their feelings of loniliness or depression, though those are both serious feelings we all face.  I don't like being lonly or depressed, either, but on a med/surg floor, there are more serious worries for the nurses than life-long insecurities of some patient whose family has bailed.  I feel the same way about myself.  I didn't want company, I wnted to get well and come home.  The nurses were great to me, and the doctor who treated me was excellent.
He has referred me to an oncologist who will be administering my chemotherapy.  Rah!
I just hope this guy has a sense of humor.  If he doesn't, I'll be glad to loan him mine. 
I've been poked, proded, rinsed out, medicated, turned, x-rayed, and blood-soaked.
I feel even worse now than when we started all this, and about all I need to complete the gristly end to thisdrama is to show up in public looking like Vestal Goodman in a bad bleach job.
My stomach is terribly swollen and distended.  Janie told me I looked like I was gaining weight.
Yeah, RIGHT!
This liviong hell just makes my appetite jump with joy at the mere thought of a dinner buffet.
Chris Mannes sent me a nice letter today.  She's a good woman, and is incredibly well-suited for her calling as a United Methodist Minister's wife.  Her daughters and I are great friends, and her husband, Ronnie, and I are totally comfortable with each other.  He's an incredibly nice fellow.
I've shown a few people my nice row of metal staples in my belly, and they're all totally in awe.  I feel like I'm lost somewhere between a threadbare corset and some kind of monster that you can unzip and disable.
I've had a recurring horror of getting one of those nice little goddies caught in a waist-band and ripping myself open in public.
Janie drove me down to Barbara's today to get some frozen meat she had for us.  She's been so supportive during all this, and The 'Queen Mother' has been ever-vigilent with her prayerful support.
She's seen most of her friends die before her, and she's used to suffering and trouble.
Barbara's house looks so nice now that Amy is cleaning for her.  Amy always has time for Elizabeth, and that takes over for Barbara for a while.
It's stressful caring for an elder (or a younger), and we all need a break from the toil.
I''m still overwhelmed by the support in Rutledge and Grainger County.  I got a very nice get-well card from Ann Cason and Chris Etters today.  Ann is the CEO of the Grainger Today, and Chriss is one of the Etters boys whose farm bordered ours on the rear when we were children.
Ruth Wells also sent me a nice card.  She's a glamorous widow who lives on the edge of town, and we've been friends for several years.  Her husband, Fain, died about a year or so ago.  She lives in this absolutely gorgose log home with a lovely curving driveway.  It looks like a Currier and Ives print.
She's always turned out in the most beautiful style, and she's sweet and bubbly.
I got a card from a ladie's Sunday School Class at Blue Springs Baptist Church, and I don't know even one of the women who signed it.  Steve says my insluence is more far-reaching than I would think.  I'm glad for their affection, and I hope I deserve it.
Margaret Southerland, a lady who has worked at Smith's Drug Store for many years, talked with me for quite a while today about my care.  She had called to ask after me several days ago.  She's had a hard life, but she keeps her troubles to herself.  Not many people like her, but we can get along.  I didn't know until today that she's now the general manager of the store.  She just works along like always.
Bobby Curl came by Creekside yesterday and brought me some of the nicest tomatoes.  He cried like a little boy when I told him of my troubles.  He had built our stunning stone fence several years ago, and our close work together bonded us a friends forever.  He's lost a lot of weight, and looks awfully thin.  He lives alone, having lost his long-time lady companion, Norma Jean Morgan, last year.
She worked like a man right along him, and took terrible abuse from him, but they loved each other, and he misses her terribly.  I don't believe there will ever be another woman for him.
Connie Fain came to the house day before yesterday and brought a very nice chicken dish that was delicious.  She said it was easy to make, but she works hard, so easy for her might not be so easy for me.
Richard, her husband, had sent some fresh eggs the day before.  He rebuilt the starter on the red truck.  It had been giving trouble for a while, and now it starts like a new one.  I'd hate the thought of looking for a new vehicle these days, so I guess I'll just keep the ones running we have now.  Maybe they'll last me out.
Mary Douglass came to clean today.  She commented that I look better in my color and appearance.
I sure hope something is better.
Joan Stalsworth, my friend who is manager of the Family Dollar in Rutledge, called this evening to 'just hear my voice and tell me she loves me'.  Is that nice, or what?
We've been friends for a long time, and she's always so thoughtful of any problem or trouble I have.
She closed the doors of the store for a prayer vigil on my behalf Tuesday morning at the time of my scheduled surgery.  Dr. Duffy Foutch closed his dental practice at the same time for the same reason,
The Down Home Restaurant asked customers to seat themselves and wait quietly at their table until they had held prayer for me, the office of Adult Education for Grainger County closed their doors, Smith's Drug Store closed for thirty minutes,The Grainger Today did not take calls during that period of time, and many employees leftr their work stations to disappear into some private area for prayers spoken on my behalf all over the county.  I'm overwhelmen by such support.
We could feel the change come into the surgical unit.  It was like a fog, sweeping into the OR, and the techs were looking around at each other, trying to figure out what was happening.  I knew what was happening, and told them.  They visibly relaxed after being made aware of what was happening.
I'v now decided that I'm going to design and contribute lovely hats to the Cancer Society, so that those ladies who have always been beautiful with their hair can now be beautiful without their hair.
I'm going to make some for girls, too.  The boys will just have to muddle through with baseball caps.
I don't want to get ready and go to bed, so it's a safe bet some nice hat(s) might be put together a little later.  I feel the need to give something to the others who suffer.
The Vent is Over!  

Tuesday, May 29, PM

I haven't blogged in quite a while.  It's been a really busy, crazy, toilsome time.
I entered Fort Sanders Hospital, as planned, last Tuesday AM.  My surgery was to be at 9:00, but was delayed somewhat.  I didn't mind, as I was mentally prepared for what I felt was a routine removal of a tumor.  Not so.
After they got me naked and into one of those notoriously immodest hospital gowns, I had to go potty.
When I was walking towards the door, someone called my name.  It was Johnny Kidd.  It seems that Debby was having a knee replacement.  They are long-ago friends, and I didn't realize that she was in poor health.  Aparently, they didn't know that I was in poor health, either.
We spoke briefly, and I went on back to my holding area.
They do things in their holding area like old time hospitals do, and I like that.  They have gournies and beds, and they have real nurses and doctors buzzing about keeping up with their patient load.
I was the last to go from our area, and I thought perhaps theyd ruled out having me as a patient.
No such luck.
Things in surgery went without a hitch.  I was sore and heavily bandaged when I awoke in recovery, but otherwize not in too bad shape, considering I'd just been sawed in half, parts of my guts pulled out , cut apart, and re-sewn, stuffed back into place, and my stomach was stapled together with metal staples which look for all the world like cage clips.
The hard part came later.
My Surgeon, a really nice fellow, came to my room and informed me that the cancer had metastized into the lymph nodes.  He removed 19 of them, and that raises my level to a three, where it had originally been a two.
You go into the hospital, pay lots of money, get naked in front of people you don't know, have your guts torn out, patched, and re-inserted, drink a liquid diet, endure horrible pain and risk getting addicted to Morphine, just to have your level of cancer danger be raised.
There's something wrong with this picture.
I don't really think I could get my money back.
I don't think I've ever been so hurt and cried so much over something I can't see or beat in a fair fight.
The nursing staff was great to me, and I hope I've made some new friends.
I wore a surgical cap all the time I was there, as I knew that my hair looked terrible.
This morning, when I was certain that I could be discharged, I went to the trouble to arrange it in my usual style.
One of the nurses asked if I would fix her hair for her.  She has lovely hair, but she sure liked mine.
They had not seen hair at all on me until this morning.
Because of the lymph node infections, I will now have to have Chemo, but I can take it in Jefferson City if I want to.  That would be so much more handy than Knoxville.
I don't know how long the series will take, and I'm going to try to co-operate as much as possible.
Barbara cooked enough food for a camp meeting, and the parts we've sampled are great.  Steve brought her to the hospital once to see me, and she almost 'lost it' a couple of times.  This has really affected her in a deep way.
Michael, the hot dog man from Blaine, is on the Chaplain's team there, and he sent someone every day to try to give me some measure of comfort.  He was out of town for some additional training.  He worked with Cecil Cook, who was the nephew of Troy and Margaret Cook.
I think about all the Cook's were musically talented, but Sister Margaret was truely gifted in a wonderful way.
It was touching, the way people come forth with offers of getting me to the doctor's visits, food, prayers, moral support, and just to express their love for me, and their concern for me.  I didn't imagine that I mattered that much to others.
That part is really great.  The hard part is late at night, when I can't sleep, and the pain is so bad that it makes your teeth sweat, and you wonder why God could do something like this to someone He loves.
I know we're all dying from the day we're born, but dying like this is not just a death...it's a torture and execution.
I suppose I should look at the good side.
Yesterday, I couldn't walk without assistance, and today, I walked  out of the hospital.
I don't have the frequency and bladder urgencey that I had before surgery (likely because that 2&1/2" tumor is not pressing against my bladder).
We are aware that cancer has been there, and we know to watch for it there again.  And I have really great friends who have been so supportive to me during this time.
I hope I can get through Chemotherapy as easily as the surgery.
It's been a hard haul, and I need more time to think about it before I write much more, so I'll likely write more tomorrow.
I think I'll have the time.
Janie is coming to Clairemont to clean tonmorrow, which is one of the only reasons that we could keep Lynn from trucking up here with dirt on her mind.  She so wants to be here and be helpful, but I don't need too much going on, and Janie and I work so well together.  Also, I don't have to provide Janie with a bed for the night.  Pete has already done that.
I don't know what all will happen, but I can promise that it will be a wild ride.
Keep on reading.

The Queen of Clairemont returns!

The Queen has returned home and will be blogging sometime tomorrow. She's very glad to be home and in her own bed, tired of the hopsital's fine bedding.

Claire is doing very well and wishes to thank those that offered their support in her trying times.

sjw

I haven't blogged in a long time, and, believe me, I've heard the complaints from so many.
I've been on an emotional roller-coaster lately.
I had a colonoscopy recently, and they found that I have colorectal metastatical adenocarcinoma.
That's a tidy way of saying that I have cancer in my bowel.
Those are not words I wanted to hear, and I certainly didn't want to hear them as a diagnosis to me.
Janie Pressley was with me as a driver that day, and we both had a brief but passionate meltdown.
I'm really finding out who my real friends are.
Cherokee called while we were at the hospital (just out of the blue), and she told Janie she would come to the house to be with us.  We came back to Clairemont and spent the rest of the day having a girl-party in the bedroom sitting on the bed and just being friends, until Steve got home that night.
Janie had called him from the hospital, and he told her he would be home about 9:00, which she said would be impossible.  He was in Cleveland, Ohio.  He was home by 8:30.  I told her that he had a whole pocket full of money, and that he was just about crazy enough to charter a jet.  He must have mistaken his truck for a Lear.
He has struggled with his emotions, but has been a real trooper.  The British are such strong people, and come through in a storm, and he's really showed his 'English'.  He does about everything for me, and wants me to rest.
We have scheduled surgery with an Oncological Surgeon, Dr. Dudrick, for Tuesday AM at Fort Sanders Medical Center. He hopes that I might get by without a colostomy or chemotherapy.  He has a great manner about him, and I, Judy, and Steve all liked him during my consultation.  Judy, my favorite niece, went with us.  She just recently got her Master's of Science in Nursing from the University of Tennessee, and I'm so proud of her.  She took a whole page of notes, and she wants me to keep a lot of notes on my journey through this time of trouble.
I've waited to post this, because I wanted to inform some friends before they read this on the computer.
I went by to visit with Lori Daniel this past week, and to tell her and Dirk that they would not be seeing me at Creekside for a while, and why, and she told me that she would be keeping me in her prayers.  She's a really nice lady (though she is somewhat different from the other Daniel ladies), and I'm developing a real affection for her.  She has a really nice beauty salon, next to the building where Dorothy Reynolds had a small salon where I had my hair done for many years.
They live across Rutledge Pike from Creekside, and they always wave and keep a check on me.
There are so many who have told me that they will be praying for me, and I'm so glad to have the prayerful support of Betty Pike, my favorite Sister Worker.  She surely has God's ear, as she is such a faithful Godly woman.
One of the pharmacy workers at Smith's, Margaret Sutherland, who is a faithful Christian, asked Steve to call her the minute I'm out of surgery and give her an update.  She is in church every time the doors are opened, and a good prayer warrior.  She's a little difficult with a lot of people, but we made friends a long time ago, and I don't have any problems with her.
I welcome the prayers of any God-fearing people.
Dr. Duffy Foutch, my Dentist, told me he would certainly be praying for me, and that he would help me in any way.  Karen, his main assistant, is a 'Hat Lady', and is so nice to change appointments and work with his patients.  She assured me that they would help me in any way with changes in appointments or arrangements that I will surely have to make.
Janie and Cherokee have been so precious and helpful in this situation.
Mary Douglas, my housekeeper, assured me of her prayers and support.  She's been with us for about 10 years, and we have become great friends.
I'm overwhelmed with the support so many have shown me.
I will be in the hospital from 6-14 dys, my doctor says, and will be restricted from physically stressful activity for 3 weeks after I come home.  I know I need the rest, but I also know I will chafe under the restraints.
Lynn, Steve's sister, wants to come up to be with us for my surgery, but Steve wants her to save her time with us until I come home from the hospital.  She has so much energy, she will be a real help then.  I need to get a guest room ready for her.  Jim, her husband, offered to bring her up.  He's a true jewel of a man.
I have a lot more to tell, partly because my computer has become ensnarled with so much junk, and it's so old.  It about died on me, and I have been reluctant to burden it with more work.
I'm going to have to accept the change to a new computer, which I'm using now.
I promise all my readers to keep more current with this journal. It will come in handy for reference for me, also.
I didn't tell about Barbara.  She had a total melt-down after I told her of my problems.  She's already planning recipes for cooking food for me after I come home.  I have some containers for her, as I won't be able to get any to her for a short while.
Faune Gerber has been ever-faithful to call and chat with me, also.  We've been friends for many years.
I thank God for all of my readers, and I ask for your prayers and understanding during this time.
It's very early in the morning, and we haven't been to bed yet.  Steve is tired, and I'm closing now to get to bed with him.  I need rest.

Sunday PM Catchup

Cherokee says I don't blog often enough anymore.
I know that.  I just don't take the time.  It's only a few minutes if I keep up, but takes me so long to remember everything if I wait too long.
The Rutledge Police came and got John Estep out of my front yard last week, and it's been a nightmare sinse then.  He is so useful.  He was arrested because he didn't keep in touch close enough with his parole officer over a traffic violation from over two years ago.  He had been charged with child endangerment over his child being in the car when he was speeding.
He's such a caring and thoughtful man, and he asked his 'woman' to have me please hold his job until he gets out.  I paid his fines, which he will work out in time when he's released.
The police officer cried and asked my forgiveness when he took John.  I guess I'm a big cheese, and he didn't want me to hold a grudge.
I thanked him for doing his duty, but expressed regret that I will have to get along without John until his release.
My neighbor, Mrs. Cabbage, had her Lincoln for sale last week, and I kept thinking that I might stop and ask about it.  I finally walked over with two friends today and asked about it, but it had been sold for $1200.00.  It looked new, and drove like a dream.
I'm so sorry I missed the boat on that one.
I worked some on fences up in the back fields this morning, and worked on the swimming pool this afternoon, with Cherokee's help.  It is filthy from all the leaves and such that blow towards pools in the winter.  Steve refused to heat it with my solar water heater last year, and I couldn't get in it.  With PAD and fibro, you don't get in cold water....ever.
I repaired the solar heater today, and raised the temp five degrees just today, which was not a hot day.
I had to clean the filter about every five minutes, but it's getting cleaner all the time.
I enjoyed it so much year before last.  It's nice to get in the water and 'float' while you walk when it's been hot all day, but I can't take the cold water.  I look forward to getting in the pool after a day working at Creekside.
I went to a County Commission meeting last week with Janie.  She spoke on the waste disposal problem with her neighbors, and I spoke about the tax issues in Grainger County.  I brought the house down when I rebutted some lady's comments about the taxes in our county doubling last year.  She said that her ministry was to the aged, and that they were having to eat dog food to get by after paying their taxes.  I told the meeting that pork and beans were cheaper, not to speak of rice, potatoes, pinto beans, macaroni, and various sale items in the canned food departments.
The County Commission laughed out loud when they saw her face as I tore into her arguments.
I'm almost considering a run for Commission next term, so it would behoove me to have a few of them on my side.  The Mayor, Mark Hipshire, adored my thanks to him in keeping our tax base low.  He knows he has my support.
I stopped to talk with Lois Kitts today for a few minutes.  She's the new widow at the head of our road.  She's doing alright, but missed Bill so badly.  He was a good friend and neighbor.  She had the bouquet I had made for his funeral on her front porch.  It is rather huge, and everyone says it's the most beautiful arrangement they've ever seen.  I wish mom could see that the flower arrangement classes worked to my advantage.
I told her that Steve often asked about her.
Our road is named for her father.
Steve yelled at me for so long tonight because he wants me to get the new cat neutered.  I assured him that I would call Katina Turley tomorrow morning and make an appointment.  He's so anal.
I'm making a lot of Jello.  I enjoy the cool and sweet favor in the evening, and the gelatin and fluids are good for me.
My health is failing so quickly.  I've been terribly hoarse all day, sounding again like the growths are back.  I don't even want to go to the doctors anymore.  They can't agree, and they all just make me feel more like dying.
I'm depressed.

Sunday, April 1, 2012 AM

It's still a little early to expect Steve to be up, so the house is quiet, and I have a few minutes to blog.
Betty Pike, my favorite Sister Worker, had cataract surgery this week.  I haven't heard how it turned out, but I've been praying that all went well.
Her plate is full, with Ma Pike being 92 and quite feeble.  She's having to stay at Betty's house some of the time, and she is so independant that it doesn't suit her much.
Betty also does so much for others that she stays busy all of the time, plus having a 'dog sitting' service.
Faune Gerber's daughter divorced on Friday, and Faune is despondant about it all.  She had tried to help them work things out, but Julie is a little hard-headed, and went through the divorce.  She will be moving back into the house with Faune and her husband, Armin.  They've given her two rooms for herself and the two daughters, for which Faune is the 'nanny'.
Faune is an old friend, contemporary, and helper to me.  Steve and I will never forget her for getting our Veteran's Loan for Clairemont approved so quickly.  She sure could run an office.
The work at Creekside is slower inside and very demanding outside.  The yard looks really good with Janie's touch.  She's a wonderment to me.  She brought supper to Creekside last night, and it was fabulous.  Clarence Singleton ate like a horse, enjoying a good, home-cooked meal with true friends.
Clarence is my special case, a fellow most would consider the village idiot.  I felt a special affection for him several years ago because of the teasing he endured at the hands of others, so I "adopted" him, to look after and see that others were more kind and accepting of him.
It was amazing how much more social acceptance he has, and how much happier he is.
We see that he has meals, mostly now at Creekside, but often at the Down Home.  He loves the Fried Chicken Special on Thursday nights, and we pay for him to have his special treat.
Janie, Cherokee, and I have put reflectors on his bicycle, and a horn, along with his handle-bar basket, so that it is easier for him to carry his 'treasures', and so that the reflectors will make him safer.
He dresses mostly in darker colors, so the reflectors are a good idea.  He also prefers to wear pink caps, so I keep him in good supply.  They show better in the dark that darker ones would.
He's not welcome to stay long in most places around Rutledge, but I've assured him that he's always welcome at Creekside, and we often show up for work in the mornings and find him sitting at the picnic table on the front patio.  He's waiting for his friends.
We are getting rave reviews on the work on the yard.  It does look a lot better, more like a gracious home and less like a dump for construction materials.
Janie puts Clarence to work on smaller projects when he's there, and he is good for the 'heavy lifting' jobs.
I've been working a lot on hand-painting the ceiling medallion for one of the bedrooms, and it's glorious.  I'm matching the colors in the wallpaper, which looks like a cross between clematis and wisteria.  It's pains-taking work, but I enjoy seeing a bland, white medallion come to life with vibrant color.  That room has a large, beveled-glass window, and I think it will compliment the color nicely.
This week, Janie and I decided that the wall which enclosed a lot of the front porch just had to come down.  We hired a local handy-man to cut it out with a concrete saw, and it was like turning on a spot light when the light came in.  We're going to be using a railing there, and it will be much lighter and more welcoming.  We're already planning hanging baskets and medallions there.  We love to scheme.
My fet and legs hurt all the time, and the stairs at Creekside don't help a bit.  I go up and down them so many times a day.
My hair is beginning to come back, though all too slowly for my taste.  It's still quite stringy and rather short, so I'm trying to not tease it, hoping that not teasing will help the growth process.  But not teasing it makes it fly-away, and it just doesn't look like me.  I also have to pin it so closely to my head that the pins make my head sore.  I just wish this all woundn't have happened.
I've asked Steve to get the pool ready for summer while he's home this time, but I don't really expect him to.  I'll have to have someone help me with it after he's gone back to work.  If I can get it warm enough, it would sure help my fibro and my PAD.  It would also lift my spirits to know that I could enjoy a nice time in the pool every evening.  That 'floating, weightless' feeling is so nice after a hard day's work.  I heat it with solar, as I can't stand the cool water on my feet and legs.
It's becomming daylight outside, and it looks like it will be foggy early.
I'm off here to paint my medallion.
Special hugs to Faune.
Oh, and I'd better mention Barbara.